The Lady Speaks

Saturday Potluck

This is late, but better than never – right? It’s funny, but three days off work and I had less computer time than normal. (Normal in the very-liberalest meaning of the word. Normal isn’t exactly something we do around here…) Things are hectic as the school year approaches, but even more so this year, since prepping for school also means getting the daughter and her possessions ready for the Big Move to the ex’s, as well as getting her enrolled in her new school.

Yep, the fabulous Miss M. is moving.

Ever do something you know is the right thing, but feel absolutely rotten about it? Yeah, it sucks.

For the first time in 15+ years, I will not be the one to check in before going to bed just to make sure she’s still breathing. (No, first-time parents, you never outgrow that.) For the first time in 15 years, I won’t be the one she calls out to after a really bad dream, or the first one to hear about her problems, or the first one to see her report card. (Well, that last one wasn’t really such a thrill the last couple years… which is why she’s moving.)

Anyways, before I end up locking myself in a closet so I can sob in my pillow, here’s this week’s (slightly shorter) round-up of interesting blogs:

I love books — any kind of books — and I love recommendations from other readers, especially when they tell you which ones aren’t even worth buying on the super-bargain discount rack.

The Avid Reader

A friend of mine came to visit a couple of weeks ago; in an effort to lighten his luggage for his trip to Europe, he left Imogen Edwards-Jones’ book behind. I think he was trying to get back at me; previously, I left him this horrible book about gay vampires to read. Either that, or we just have very different taste because I found Air Babylonto be one of the most annoying and shallow books that I have read in a long time. Sure, it had some amusing parts, but it was just so over-the-top that I had to put it down every few chapters and read something else to cleanse my mind of this drivel.

Because we all need a good laugh… Your Daily Fun Dose

From Funny Church Bulletins:

1. Don’t let worry kill you — let the church help.
2. Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. There are some questions that can’t be answered by Google.
4. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
5. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
6. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
7. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Saving the best for last… I found Crystal’s blog a couple nights ago and haven’t stopped laughing since.

Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper

I got home yesterday and noticed that it was unusually warm in the house. Since I have it in my head that turning the thermostat down makes the fornits work harder to make ice cubes to cool the rooms or some such thing, I went to set it to sub-zero. And found that it wasn’t working.

I wasn’t immediately alarmed. Our unit is like that jukebox in Happy Days – you literally have to punch the shit out of it sometimes to wake it up and remind it that IT’S A HUNDRED AND SIX OUTSIDE. WORK, YOU FUCKING CLAPTRAP.

After I punched and cursed and threatened and cried and none of that worked, I went to find Chris.

“Air’s not working, babe.” Again, I wasn’t alarmed. Chris is the redneck McGyver. He’s McGyver with copious buttcrack. I’ve personally seen this man take a hair net and some mustard to successfully patch a hole in the roof. There is nothing he can’t fix.

His eyes widened and he began chanting, “Dead dogs. Dead,” as he walked out the door.

You have to read the whole thing. Oh, and please check out the March 30th post, Filed Under: Parents 1, Smart-Ass, Teenage Son, 0

Omilordie! That one’s so funny, I almost snorted a taco right into my sinuses as I — almost literally — fell out of my chair laughing.


August 18, 2007 - Posted by | America, Blogs, Just For Fun

1 Comment »

  1. Oh mah gawd , that blog is too funny !!! Thanks for that find – i me some funny stuff and great writing. She creates so many visuals..a warning should come with it – do not read while eating or drinking at computer. It is the kind of writing that lingers long after you’ver read it ..and just keeps you chuckling……Great find PA and thanks. The name alone is semi hilarious..boobsi njuries and dr Pepper. Funny funny funny stuff !

    Comment by proudprogressive | August 23, 2007 | Reply

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