When Five-year-olds Are Smarter Than CongressCritters
Senator John “Batshit Insane” McCain and Representative Mike “Safe as Indiana” Pence spent an hour visiting the Shorja market in Baghdad earlier this week. Both declared the market to be a safe and wonderful little place.
Mike Pence (R-Stupidity) literally told reporters it was just “like a normal outdoor market in Indiana.”
Uhhh….Mike? Perhaps you didn’t notice this:
Photo by Sgt. Matthew Roe/10th Public Affairs Operations Center
Doesn’t look much like an outdoor market anywhere in the US, much less in Indiana. I haven’t seen too many outdoor markets here in the States that have armed US soldiers and shoppers in bulletproof vests.
Has the “liberal” news media been failing to report the numbers of Indiana markets being blown up?! Perhaps I should call my brothers – currently working outside Indianapolis – and warn them about the spate of outdoor market bombings happening.
Perhaps you and Mr. McCain didn’t notice the 100 armed soldiers surrounding you, who diverted traffic away from the area? Didn’t see the helicopter gunships or the snipers protecting your precious little self? Failed to notice you and the rest of your party were wearing bulletproof vests?
I don’t know about this “safe as Indiana” thing, Mr. Pence. When’s the last time you had to wear a bulletproof vest in Indiana? I used to sell stuff at the Ft. Wayne Hamfest for several years running, and – while there are some strange people in Indiana – I didn’t really feel a need to be protected by 100 soldiers, gunships, snipers, or a bulletproof vest.
To prove my headline – that even 5-year-olds are smarter than some of our CongressCritters – I asked my nephew – who will be five on Thursday and thinks Wal*mart is the closest thing to heaven – the following:
“Suppose people were sometimes blowing up Wal*mart – not blowing the whole thing up, but enough to keep people from shopping for a few days while they cleaned up – would you feel safe going to buy toys there?”
He first asked if people died, which is dangerous territory for the ‘Nenna,’ as he calls me. He lost his dad to cancer just two and a half years ago, so he’s very worried about people dying. I had a hard time deciding how to answer. After weighing the options, I finally went with, “Yes, but only a few. Not everybody.”
After thinking about it a bit, he said that would be very scary, and that he wouldn’t go there anymore. (Actually, his first response was, “Nuh-uh!” Then he told me the rest.)
I then asked,
“Would you feel safe if you got to take a lot of army guys with you and wore a bulletproof vest?”
Yes, he replied. He’d feel safer, but only if the army guys had lots of guns – and let him wear a helmet.
Unsurprisingly, the merchants of the Shorja market feel the same.