The Lady Speaks

Humorous Headlines

Not being in much of a mood to write a Sunday Sermon today, I was checking out MSNBC.com and came across a couple funny headlines:

Associated Press:

Then all at once, a country song broke out…

A Des Moines man was arrested on suspicion of operating while intoxicated Saturday after allegedly crashing into six parked cars, running over his dog and hitting his own house.

Reuters:

Man finds light bulb where sun doesn’t shine
Prisoner has surgery for removal; unknown how many it took to screw it in

MULTAN, Pakistan – Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass light bulb in his anus.

On Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad’s misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

On new resume: Plays well with others

LONDON – A British government worker has been fired and another demoted following allegations they were involved in serious misconduct, including leaping naked from filing cabinets and having sex in office lavatories.

Russian police mistake rugby match for brawl

MOSCOW – Russians playing a game of amateur rugby were arrested by police who mistook the match for a mass brawl, local media reported on Monday.

“We got a call to our control room saying there was a fight involving a lot of people on some waste ground just outside town,” RIA news agency quoted a police official in the southern city of Rostov-on-Don as saying.

And God said: Try staying out of the lion’s den

KIEV, Ukraine – A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in the Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal’s enclosure, a zoo official said Monday.

“The man shouted, ‘God will save me, if he exists,’ lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.

“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”

 

 

 

 

 

July 9, 2006 - Posted by | Humor, Uncategorized

2 Comments »

  1. Jon Stewart could have fun with those! :>)

    Hope all is well, my friend.

    Peace.

    Comment by thepoetryman | July 10, 2006 | Reply

  2. I just loved the lightbulb one! Such a double entendre in that sub-heading!

    Things are….not so bad – just very stressful on the homefront right now. Same story everywhere: dwindling savings and almost no job openings within a 100-mile radius. I’m even on the waiting list (with 800 other people) for interviews at the Lowe’s they’re building a few miles away.

    Comment by PA_Lady | July 10, 2006 | Reply


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