We Are Doomed

The Kyl-Lieberman amendment to the Defense Authorization Bill passed 76-22.

Why is this bad?

From ThinkProgress:

The legislation accuses Iran of fighting “a proxy war against the Iraqi state and coalition forces in Iraq” and threatens to “combat, contain and [stop]” Iran. The right wing has quickly latched onto the amendment, claiming it “unflinchingly…calls on America to win” against Iran.

[snip]

(3) that it should be the policy of the United States to combat, contain, and [stop] the violent activities and destabilizing influence inside Iraq of the Government of the Islamic Republic of Iran, its foreign facilitators such as Lebanese Hezbollah, and its indigenous Iraqi proxies;

(4) to support the prudent and calibrated use of all instruments of United States national power in Iraq, including diplomatic, economic, intelligence, and military instruments, in support of the policy described in paragraph (3) with respect to the Government of the Islamic Republic of Iran and its proxies. [emphasis TP]

Dear sweet gods and goddesses!

Senator Jim Webb called the amendment “Dick Cheney’s fondest pipe dream,” also saying: “At best, it’s a deliberate attempt to divert attention from a failed diplomatic policy,” said Webb. “At worst, it could be read as a backdoor method of gaining Congressional validation for military action, without one hearing and without serious debate.”

Why not just pass a “Let’s Bomb Iran and Other Places That Piss Us Off” resolution?

Who were the 29 Democratic senators stupid enough to vote for this?

Akaka (D-HI)
Baucus (D-MT)
Bayh (D-IN)
Cardin (D-MD)
Carper (D-DE)
Casey (D-PA)
Clinton (D-NY)
Conrad (D-ND)
Dorgan (D-ND)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Johnson (D-SD)
Kohl (D-WI)
Landrieu (D-LA)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Levin (D-MI)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Nelson (D-FL)
Nelson (D-NE)
Pryor (D-AR)
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV)
Rockefeller (D-WV)
Salazar (D-CO)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-MI)
Whitehouse (D-RI)

Obama and McCain decided not to bother voting.

- – -

Shall we start a 50-50 pool now? $5 donation per guess.

On what day will El Chimperor announce to the American people that he’s ordered the US military (any branch) to strike targets in Iran?

Closest to the right date and year wins 50% of the pot. The other 50% will be donated to the United Nations Children’s Fund.

MoveOn: Need Some Ad Ideas?

Why Do Republicans Hate Children?

*edited 9/25/07, 11:00pm. Edits between # #. — Jenn

- – -

Michael Leavitt, the Secretary of Health and Human Services*, was on C-Span’s Washington Journal today. I somehow managed to listen to his blather, for a few minutes, until the urge to vomit overwhelmed me. Of course, that might just have been the stomach flu…

One of the talking points repeated over and over and over ad nauseum was the $80,000 figure. As in, “OH MY GOD, they want people making up to $80,000¹ (or 400% of the federal poverty level) to get FREE GOVERNMENT HEALTH CARE²!!”

¹ Wrong. The $80K figure came from New York State’s request #to expand its program# which was denied – and which would still be denied under the new SCHIP bill.

The SCHIP bill currently under consideration would insure children in families living at 200% of the federal poverty level (or $40,000 (pre-tax) for a family of four) who do not have access to, or cannot afford, private health insurance.

² And wrong again. This isn’t “government health care”. The government isn’t going to be opening clinics and running hospitals and giving kids their immunizations. This is government-paid health insurance.

Leavitt also blathered a bit about how this program was going to allow people who already had private insurance to get public health insurance, etc. etc.

Hmmm…

Can someone name a public, open to anyone regardless of income, government-sponsored program believed by the government to be necessary for our nation’s future and security, in which the government doesn’t actually provide the service rendered?

Indeed. Public education, folks.

Using the Bush misAdministration rationales for vetoing SCHIP, all those making more than 200% of the federal poverty level will be required to enroll their children in private school, at their own cost. If you can’t afford private school, well that’s just tough noogies. Your child will go uneducated.

I can see the future of education under the Bush Plan:

[[wavy lines with eerie "wee-doo, wee-doo" music signifying dream sequence]]

10 Things I Hate

Ever wake up and just feel mad? I’ve had a couple days like that, so I figured I’d get it all off my chest:

1. Dirt Devil’s enVision bagless vacuum

I bought this thing a few months back because my previous vacuum, a Eureka bagless model, finally gave up the ghost after many years of fine service. I wanted another Eureka, but went with the Dirt Devil model after comparing features and whatnot. What a mistake!

First, the hose – which takes the dirt to the little bagless canister – goes ’round and ’round before going into a little tunnel and then, finally sends the stuff through the filter. Which would be fine, except that if the hose should become clogged, you can’t just take the hose off. Even after you take out the three screws and loosen it, it is trapped in this little tunnel-y piece of plastic.

Second, it clogs constantly. Usually right at the mouth of the filter.

Third, it either misses a lot of dirt or hasn’t enough suction to actually suck all the dirt into the canister. Which you don’t realize unless — like me — you happen to have dark-blue carpet in the dining room.

2. George Bush

Need I say more?

3. The spineless Democrats in Congress

They don’t seem to understand the concept of “counter-attack.” Should they actually try it, they always seem to find a way to wimp out in the end. “Bipartisan” apparently means “always agreeing with Republicans.”

4. Rotten, greedy, corrupt bastards – ie: Republicans

Unless it means money and power for them, forget it.

Need health insurance for your kid but can’t afford it? Too bad. Need health insurance for yourself but can’t afford it? Too bad. Lost your job after your company moved overseas to take advantage of lax laws and cheap labor? Tough toodles. Living in a FEMA trailer two years after Hurricane Katrina hit? Tough nougies.

Troops being forced to do tour after tour with little time off, then facing financial problems while waiting for the VA and DoD to decide their disability ranking, and discovering the VA is underfunded and overwhelmed? Tough shit. Soldier up, dude.

Pharmaceutical industry wanting to charge big bucks to Medicare with no price negotiation? No problem! Insurance industry wanting to make gazillions more while providing as little actual coverage as possible? No problem! Defense contractors overcharging the government for services never provided, killing civilians in another country, or doing such shoddy work on Iraq reconstruction projects that shit is literally leaking through the light fixtures? No problem!

5. People who still like George Bush

I don’t know if they need more drugs or less, but these people need to be taken off the streets for the protection of the general populace.

Electro-shock should be applied to those who still insist he’s a good Christian.

Double the voltage for those who think the Iraq occupation is going great.

All-the-way-up voltage for those who believe all of the above and think attacking Iran is a good idea.

6. Joe Lieberman

Smarmy, Republican-ass-kissing bastard, who registered as a Democrat after his “Connecticut for Lieberman” party was taken over by people who really don’t like him. But still votes as if kisses from George Bush are rewards.

7. Fat people who make snotty, bitchy comments about my weight.

Get over it. Trust me, you do not want the medical condition that causes this. You especially don’t want the long-term side effects from the medication I take to stay alive.

8. American auto manufacturers

Look, you have two big problems: you build crappy vehicles, and you still think lots of Americans want big, gas-guzzlers.

That’s why Toyota, Nissan, et al are beating your ass.

9. Global warming deniers

The planet is getting hot. Quibble all you want over the why, but the glaciers and the poles are melting, and sea levels are rising. This is a problem, and it needs to be dealt with. Got it?

Or do you want Florida to become the next Atlantis?

10. 9/11 conspiracy theorists

Just. shut. up.

Even if you’re right, what changes? Almost 3000 people will still be dead. Iraq and Afghanistan will still be invaded and occupied. George Bush will still have been re-elected. Republicans will still be corrupt, greedy bastards — and probably still having gay sex while trying to outlaw it. Democrats will still be spineless idiots, still listening to Beltway pundits and blowhards, bent on being “civil” — and still being accused by Republicans of doing whatever the Republicans actually are doing.

Kennedy’s assassination is still being debated by conspiracy theorists and nothing’s changed. Roswell is still being debated by conspiracy theorists and nothing’s changed.

You really expect different results?

- – -

Wow! I really do feel better now.

Like I Said…

Remember the whole ‘nukes over America’ mess?

Remember me saying there was no way in hell this was an accident because just getting a nuke out of storage took layers of paperwork and dealing with special procedures?

Of course, I also said, at the end of this post, that this wasn’t just a fuck-up, but a chain of them.

Turns out Minot (and perhaps the Air Force, in general) are so fucked up that nuclear missiles are actually stored with conventional ones.

At least, that’s the story now: The airmen who started this whole nightmare simply grabbed the wrong ones. Oopsie!

Well, not simply. According to the WaPo, speaking to unnamed sources, no one followed procedure – not until a sharp-eyed airman at Barksdale happened to notice these weren’t normal missiles and called a supervisor.

From the Washington Post:

Just after 9 a.m. on Aug. 29, a group of U.S. airmen entered a sod-covered bunker on North Dakota’s Minot Air Force Base with orders to collect a set of unarmed cruise missiles bound for a weapons graveyard. They quickly pulled out a dozen cylinders, all of which appeared identical from a cursory glance, and hauled them along Bomber Boulevard to a waiting B-52 bomber.

The airmen attached the gray missiles to the plane’s wings, six on each side. After eyeballing the missiles on the right side, a flight officer signed a manifest that listed a dozen unarmed AGM-129 missiles. The officer did not notice that the six on the left contained nuclear warheads, each with the destructive power of up to 10 Hiroshima bombs.

That detail would escape notice for an astounding 36 hours [...]

[snip]

A simple error in a missile storage room led to missteps at every turn, as ground crews failed to notice the warheads, and as security teams and flight crew members failed to provide adequate oversight and check the cargo thoroughly. An elaborate nuclear safeguard system, nurtured during the Cold War and infused with rigorous accounting and command procedures, was utterly debased, the investigation’s early results show.

The incident came on the heels of multiple warnings — some of which went to the highest levels of the Bush administration, including the National Security Council – of security problems at Air Force installations where nuclear weapons are kept. The risks are not that warheads might be accidentally detonated, but that sloppy procedures could leave room for theft or damage to a warhead, disseminating its toxic nuclear materials. [emphasis mine]

Read the whole article here.

The whole system collapsed, and why? Because the first step was making sure you were grabbing conventional missiles. From the moment those airmen reached for the wrong ones, everyone involved simply assumed they were not nuclear-equipped.

And what happens when we assume, boys and girls?

Okay, you can sort of see how it could happen. I mean, we’ve all grabbed the can of spinach off a shelf, thinking we were grabbing the green beans, so… okay.

Except for one thing, pointed out by sjm12561 in the comments at the WaPo: [sorry, WaPo apparently doesn't know how to link individual comments... *sigh*]

Let’s say Minot does store conventional and nuclear munitions together which I don’t believe as the career fields supporting the two are different and the security requirements are completely mismatched.

Anyway, if the two are stored together whenever you access an igloo you would follow the procedures you have for nuclear weapons, not conventional. Two man rule would always be in effect until that igloo was closed and it had been clearly shown all nuclear weapons accounted for. [my emphasis]

A special security detail would have been set up; the fire department would have been on scene, the wing leadership would have been briefed that conventional weapons were being removed for shipment and told how the nuclear weapons would be protected.

The answer given to the Post stinks.

Saturday Potluck

The weekly round-up of cool and interesting blogs found while cruising the cyber-space highway:

Shack Life Quarterly — A food and travel blog with fabulous recipes. [[Yes, I do adore recipe blogs. Why do you ask? - Jenn]]

Melissa’s Easy Chocolate Cake:

This is a seriously easy cake. I think it took me almost as long to lick the bowl out afterwards as it did to make the cake. For anyone who thinks they can’t make a cake, give this one a try. Don’t be put off by the vinegar, it really does work in this cake.

Out of My Head — [insert descriptive label here.] I couldn’t really come up with a short sentence/phrase to describe this blog; it’s so wonderfully varied. Just go read it. All of it!

A Magic Carpet Ride of Her Life:

In 1986, I met an amazing woman named Julia Palmer. For her, books were magical carpet rides to all the wonders of life. And she devoted most of her adult years to bringing their powerful magic to the children of New York City.

[snip]

When she was in her 40s, she volunteered to help public school children with their reading, throwing her boundless passion into helping them get the same joy from books she did. She was delighted to see faces light up when she brought children books they actually cared about, rather than the meaningless ones they were being forced to read. “See Sally run.” “Why in God’s name would they care about Sally?” Julia asked. Kids who hated reading before became avid readers. Julia had found her life’s mission.

From this, she became a zealous advocate for literacy and for books that really matter to kids. She decided that all children deserved access to good books and “the world of ideas.” And, so, determined to make a difference, she raised a few thousand dollars, outfitted a yellow van with paperback books of her choosing, named the van Buttercup, and started her bookmobile lending library service.

A Piece of Peace — Fighting cancer, defying labels.

Blue Photography Meditation:

I’ve had a peaceful blue meditation today and wanted to share it with you here today.

I realize that it’s possible to post too many posts in a day but some days (rarely) I can’t help myself and post more than one. I’ve heard that if people are subscribed to a blog feed reader or email and they get too many posts listed they may unsubscribe. I know people are busy but at the same time it’s good to take some time for ourselves during the day; take time to just stop, sit, lie down, breathe and relax.

Love & Hate Mail — Hire a ghost writer to write your letters!

Your Underwear Ruined My Life:

I have been a customer of your lingerie line for many years. From the high-waisted full-coverage of the eighties to the micro-thong of the late nineties, to the low-rider boy-shorts of today, I’ve been with you all the way. I even had a pair of circa 1995 Rios – not a lot of people can say that! Over the years I’ve been highly satisfied with the quality of your product, and I’ve encouraged friends to support your store as well.

However, I recently had a tragic underwear malfunction which is changing my opinion of Bizniz Intimates. I don’t know if you were asleep at the wheel, or if you intentionally pimped out inferior undergarments to the public, but the fact remains: the elastic in that thong was woefully inadequate.

Christmas Jokes — It’s never too early for Christmas jokes!

Funny Jokes – Not A Martha Stewart Christmas:

To All Our Family and Friends:

Just a note to let you know we are hoping to see you Thanksgiving Day. But…. Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I’m telling you in advance, so don’t act surprised.

Since Ms. Stewart won’t be coming, I’ve made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I’ve gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.

Friday Anti-War Song

Technically, this isn’t an anti-war song, but since I woke up this morning, this song’s been running through my head. I think it’s especially appropriate considering the confluence of Peace Day, the Iraq Moratorium, and the protests supporting the Jena 6.

Man In Black
– Johnny Cash

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there’s a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he’s a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you’d think He’s talking straight to you and me.

Well, we’re doin’ mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin’ cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we’re reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought ‘a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin’ for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believin’ that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believin’ that we all were on their side.

Well, there’s things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin’ everywhere you go,
But ’til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You’ll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I’d love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything’s OK,
But I’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
‘Till things are brighter, I’m the Man In Black

Protest Today, Wherever You Are

Sign The Pledge
Join the Iraq Moratorium

Black Armbands on Friday

From Meteor Blades:

Come September 21, tens of thousands of people, perhaps hundreds of thousands, will participate in the first Iraq Moratorium, a national day of locally organized opposition to the disastrous war and occupation of Iraq.

[snip]

The Iraq Moratorium is modeled on the Vietnam Moratorium of October 15, 1969, when individuals in small groups and large, in cities small and large, joined millions of their fellow Americans across the nation to challenge a government policy of lies and delusion that had brought devastation and slaughter to Southeast Asia and the greatest turmoil at home since the Civil War.

[snip]

If you do nothing else, wear a black armband to school, to work, to Disneyland, to wherever you go Friday as silent testimony to your opposition to the war and occupation, to your mourning of its consequences and to your determination to help end it. If you’ve got time, you could print a word or a few on it: Withdraw Now. End the War Now. Or some such.

It doesn’t matter whether you are a teacher, a paralegal, a student, a doctor, a factory worker, a retail clerk, an IT technician, or a homemaker, your armband will be noticed, and it can spark conversations with people who may never have thought about the war and occupation as much as you have, who may already be against the war but not know how to express their opposition. With this in mind, you might carry a couple of extra armbands with you wherever you go. [all emphasis MB]

From Natasha:

Meteor Blades asks people to wear black armbands Friday, wherever they are, to protest the war.

Barry Leiba, who provided sorely needed conversation during the march last weekend, suggests a rolling protest. This would consist of calling and then visiting your congressperson’s office with a short, prepared set of limited talking points and speaking with either your representative or a staffer.

[snip]

Tell them that the Iraq war is an emergency. That getting out of it is a high priority. And if you remember, tell them to do everything in their power to keep us from getting into yet another war in Iran.

From Iraq Moratorium:

The slow-motion train wreck that is the occupation of Iraq grows daily more of a nightmare. In 2006 America voted to bring it to an end. But our politicians have failed to grasp the strain on our military and the depth to which America’s influence in the world has fallen. We must force them and our media to recognize just how angry America is, and how massive the anti-war sentiment in this country has become.

It’s time for the Iraq Moratorium.

The Iraq Moratorium will be an escalating monthly series of actions demanding an end to the war. Starting on Friday, September 21 and on the third Friday of every month thereafter, we will take the time to show our President and Congress that our troops must be brought home, now! [...]

[snip]

With the first Moratorium Day just two days away, interest is swelling. Every day, hundreds more people sign the pledge–look for friends and notable names by clicking the link under the thumbnail photo of an IM endorser, top right. See who’s just come on board, look through the names alphabetically, or arrange them in zip order to see who else from your community has signed on!

Sign up, spread the word, and help end the war!

Arrghh, Me Hearties!

Aye, maties, ’tis yer blogwench, Ambiguous Dora Bellamy,* here t’ tell ya ’tis indeed that glorious time o’ year – International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

From the home o’ the worst dogs t’ sail the main, those land lubbers who invented… came up with …. birthed Talk Like A Pirate Day:

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Avast, me hearties! Be ye forewarned that today also be me brother’s birthday! Th’ bilge rat himself, “Drownin’ Pablo Scarr”  Cap’n Ezekiel Kookypants* [much better! - Jenn] be turnin’ a grand 32! Arr!

A round o’ grog for all t’ celebrate!

- – -

*Pirate names plundered from the Pirate Name Generator. Git yer own, or be keel-hauled, ya barnacle!