Update on Me … with PSA
On Tuesday, I finally got a diagnosis. It’s good and bad, naturally. It’s good to finally know what in the hell is going on – and that I’m not a hypochondriac – but bad in that this is not going to get better. But, good in that, if I manage to quit smoking, I won’t get worse.
I have Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. (COPD, for short.) Self-inflicted, of course. I’ve smoked for almost 22 years now, and that, plus the steroids I take for Addison’s Disease, mean nothing good is happening in my lungs.
It’s bad enough that simple everyday activities like sweeping or doing laundry or washing dishes leaves me a little breathless and needing a sit-down. I’m using two inhalers, and just getting through a 5-hour workday leaves me exhausted.
Please, please, please. If you smoke, quit. I’m in the process of trying – again. Like many long-term smokers, I’ve quit before but I could never manage to make it “take.” This is my big push, though. I do not want to spend any portion of my life hooked up to an oxygen tank.
I have plans for the future – things like kids’ graduations and weddings and future grandbabies and travelling – and none of those plans includes me wearing a nasal canula and air-hose while dragging a backpack oxygen tank around.
I’ve got lots of support, and that helps. Even the kids are doing their part, jumping down my throat every time I’m “naughty” and try sneaking a smoke. They’re so great about encouraging me – my oldest even bought me a giant bag of pretzels.
For more information on quitting, check out these sites:
QuitNet – Join me! I’m registered as PA_Lady.
Also, look into Chantix, a new medication my doc mentioned. It works by blocking the nicotine receptors in your brain, which reduces the withdrawal symptoms (or eliminates them, for some people) and keeps you from getting any “benefit” if you sneak a smoke – either out of habit, or because your so-called friend has one lit right next to you and you can’t help but bum a couple drags. You might as well be smoking a Twizzler for all the effect a cigarette would have on you. Intriguing, no?
I’m looking forward to trying it, once the paperwork’s processed so the hospital will cover my medication costs. (Being uninsured sucks, peeps, especially when just one inhaler is $90 a pop!)
Meanwhile, I’m eating pretzels like there’s no tomorrow and trying to survive the cravings.
Anyways… that’s what’s up with me. What’s up with you?
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“I don’t have an agenda, I don’t have a program. I’m not a communist or a socialist. I guess I’m a left-libertarian and a populist, and I believe in the Bill of Rights the way some folks believe in the Bible.”
– Molly Ivins, 1944-2007
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Hey, sorry to hear about your diagnosis but happy to hear you are starting chantix. i have smoked for 15 years and while I only have been on the medication for about 2 weeks and only quit completely for a week now, I don’t really have any cravings for a smoke anymore. I know it gets both good and bad reviews but it really worked for me. Good luck
Brandon: Congrats on quitting! I’ve heard mostly good things about the Chantix. I’m really interested in trying it – mainly because I like the idea that it helps eliminate (or at least reduce) the brain’s need for the nicotine.
To be honest, even a reduction in the cravings would be nice. I feel like one of those desperate junkies you see on cop shows. All jangly and nervous, with weird facial tics and a bad nail-biting habit. I’m worried I’m going to start scratching invisible bugs soon… LOL
Good luck to you too!
I have a friend struggling to quit a longtime smoking habit that has wrecked his health and severely restricted his activities and I’m glad to learn about this med so I can suggest it to him.
I have read that withdrawing from nicotine is equal to withdrawing from heroin. Anything that helps is worth a try. Give it your best!
Good luck to you, Friend.
((you))
I hope your friend finds it helpful. I’m very excited about it, knowing how it works. It makes such sense when you think about it. People smoke for the “reward” – a dopamine release – and they’re addicted to nicotine, so… what if you block the nicotine receptors and kill the buzz?! And it’s so much better than transferring your addiction to a gum or a patch.
I’ve read that as well (I think C. Everett Koop was the Surgeon General who said it) and I believe it. I’m such a jittery nauseated mess right now, and all I want is another cigarette. All I can think about is how they taste and how good it feels when you light up that first smoke…. ARRGGHHH!
And, according to my munchkins, I’m talking in my “Exorcist” voice. Ye gods, this should be a fun week…
P A – i love your voice. You are a force of Nature. Clear , concise caring and progressive.
I wish you the most possible success in your struggle. Whatever works,what ever it takes. you know…its about that first one i suppose. Hey a minute at time, a second at a time. The strength to fight the impulse, focus on doing something other than “not” doing that one thing..etc. May your tool chest be filled with strategies to manage cravings, and may the spirit enable you to get where you want to go.
I guess its also important to re define failure when struggling with addiction – any addiction. Best Wishes to you gal !!! and oh thanks for the Blog rec’s above. I do not visit here near enough, thats gonna change. Its always interesting and informative, and when i get here , that voice goes off in my head, why don’t i check in daily ???
– I do love your voice and your kindness, generous nature.
pp: You’re going to turn my head with all those compliments! Thank you.
Exactly. Fighting it is literally a moment at a time exercise. The cravings do pass if I find something else to do – eat pretzels, do some little bit of housework that’s on my “Someday I’ll Do It” list, take a walk around the block, etc.
That last one’s also good for reminding me why I’m doing this: I’m huffing and puffing so bad, I think, “Why the f*ck would I ever want another cigarette?” And yet…give me time to get my breath back and all I want is a smoke.
I haven’t managed to quit completely. I still have the first smoke in the morning, the one after lunch, the one after supper, and the one before bed. Those are the four I can’t seem to let go of, and those are the times when the cravings are so intense I’d be willing to kill my mother, my kids, and possibly a defenseless puppy, just to get a cigarette. Still, 4 a day is better than the pack and a half I was smoking until last week.
That is tremendous progress PA. When i was successful once upon a time..it was because i found a replacement – marathons running 21 yrs ago. that lasted 3.5 yrs. I will not go into the rest of the story. But will say , i live in fear of a bad cold, serious fear.
That’s why I’m trying so hard to quit now. I worry about what’ll to happen if I keep going. If I’m having trouble now, what shape will I be in 5 years from now?
I’ve had pneumonia four years running – and I keep thinking that, as bad as those episodes were, my whole life will be like that or worse if I can’t stop smoking.