Save Your Sons!

*snicker*

I can't even try posting this without gales of laughter.

Save the frat boys! From MzNicky over at Tennessee Guerilla Women:

Every now and then you come across a news report that’s just so heartbreaking, so unremittingly lamentable, that you have to stop reading for a moment, close your eyes, and take a deep, shuddering breath before you can continue.

After double-checking the source to make sure it wasn’t really from the Onion, I forced myself to read all about the crushing "epidemic" currently sweeping the nation’s college campuses: Erectile Dysfunction (ED).

That’s right. It seems there’s a pandemic of limp-dicked frat rats.

[snip]

I know that by now you are rending your garments and wailing, "Why, oh why? What could possibly be at the, er, root of this catastrophe?" And yet, you knew the answer, didn't you?, before you even knew there was a question. No, it’s not the binge drinking, the pot, ecstasy, or meth; it's not the antidepressants or the smoking, or even the sitting for hours on end stuffing the face with Chee-tos® while surfing for porn or pounding the X-Box instead of bench-pressing and hoops-shooting—although the WaPo writer dutifully mentions in passing these possible explanations for this plague of undergraduate impotence. No! It is, of course, the damned oversexed college-aged women who, through their misguided ideas about sexual entitlement, are creating this oppressive sucking vortex of tragically unspent seed!

[snip]

Still another tale of woe concerns a George Washington University manly man who is “tall and good-looking with dark hair and gray-green eyes, [a] member of a fraternity so bad and so much fun that university officials refuse to sanction it.” (Wow! Beat that, you non-Animal House losers! Sorry; bad choice of words No offense, Big Guy.) In furtherance of his erstwhile fuckability, we are told that “he works at a bank and has a job lined up after school — a fact that the ambitious women at GW love.” (Of course they do! That’s what “ambitious women” do—seek out future six-figure-earners and then rob them of their manly essences!) “He has charmed probably two dozen girls away from bars and into his bed over four years at school, all consenting partners, he says.” (Police records were apparently unavailable.) A litany of disappointing “hookup” failures follows, during which the studly dude's revolving door of receptacles all expressed such frustration and impatience that, "Not surprisingly, system shutdown ensued.”

Oh…god….can't….stop….laughing!!!!